Cheers!

Last time I was here it was a different version of me all together. I don't think I need to go back in time and explain why my views were a little more negative and I'm sure in time on here it will be easier to understand!

I am the ultimate stay at home mom that does it "all," and while I don't succeed everyday, it's my goal to keep shit clean, keep the people fed, keep myself pretty and keep sharing my hot mess of a life because if I don't, I'll go fucking crazy.

Wait, I did go crazy and that's pretty much why I disappeared. House Full of Heads was not what I wanted it to be, the stories I told were not taken in the context they were intended. Now that I've found a better voice I know that I will tell it how I mean it and if it's taken any other way, it's not my problem.

My problem is people and toddlers and babies that scream too much. Mine are just as guilty as the other lil monsters and have caused me to "runaway" on several occasions. Since I can't actually travel far away, dress up every night and have dinner parties on a regular I figured this is the place that I can! I'm here to share my awesomeness and how I "do it all!" ;)

I apologize in advance if I offend you...(okay, no I don't)

I apologize in advance if I offend you because if I apologize later for saying what I feel, it's like apologizing for being real. Which I am. Just consider me the 30yr old version of Miley Cyrus (with a better ass) and you're a part of my movement. That, or you're just looking for someone to show you how to do it all!

I wake up to two of the most handsome lil monsters in the world and before the day is done I have changed a handful of shitty diapers, cleaned the shitty diapers my dog ate because I didn't throw them away fast enough, made three meals and cleaned them up, went to the park, went to the store and cussed someone out on the way, pinned a hundred fashion, food and funny quotes on Pinterest while entertaining the monsters. The only thing is that I like to look pretty while I do it all!

By all means I am not implying that I've got heels and a dress on, this isn't the 1950's and although I'm a domestic Goddess my husband isn't my supervisor and this is MY castle. Just take off the "give ups" aka your sweats, take a fucking shower for God sake, put on a bra, dry your hair, leave it down and fix your face!! You'll feel prettier while reading what I have to share and you're welcome.